I have done it before and I guess I may under the stress of disappointment do it again. I told a whopper of a lie to save face. The phone rings and the voice of a good mate asks 'How was Alkaline Trio man' and of course I respond with a tone of forced conviction akin to the first time you told a girl you loved them but actually you didn't - you wished you had listened to your friends and pulled her best mate instead - 'they were fucking awesome mate and the new songs sounded great live'. One of my best mates gets that from me, someone who prides himself on his sometimes brutal honesty! I am clearly going to hell for my sins.....Yep I lied through my teeth because I take my musical passion far too personally and the paranoia that if I show any sign of weakness in regards to the bands I love will be pounced upon by those of my friends that knew all along they were 'fucking shite' forces my hand. I make it up. They weren't there so will never know. I make it into the best gig THEY have never been too. Do whatever you have too but under no fucking circumstances admit that your idols were not up too it! NEVER EVER admit that the bands you love just can't cut it live and in fact you would have had more fun at home trying to catch your own farts in a jar. At least the stench you make is your own doing....
Alkaline Trio were really disappointing - in fact they were pretty shit. I cannot really put it any other way. I tried to be generous in my assessment and even though certain things like the sound being awful was out of their control it doesn't change some fundamental problems with their live act. Matt Skiba cannot sing live. He also appears to not be able to tune his guitar either but he managed to get away with this for most of their seemingly never ending set because you could only hear it from time to time. Have they totally lost interest? I have seen more excitement on the faces of pedestrians who have just seen the little green man pop up so they can cross over the road....transport fascists! And while we are at it how about teaching your bassist a few more tones of voice so that when he sings he doesn't sound like Victor Meldrew having a fat poo and calling for more bog roll when he realises just how much crap has popped out of his arse.
We could go on but there is no need because the one thing that really winds me up is that you would think they would have realised now their songs are nearly all recorded with 2 guitar parts but they can only have one live. Employ a fucking touring guitarist and make your songs sound like they are meant too!! 3 times I have seen this band and 3 times they clearly needed a bigger sound live to match their records! Even Feeder realised this years ago and take a 2nd guitarist with them everywhere. Swallow your pride Skiba and get someone in because your band just cannot pull it off live. if you did that then half your problems would be solved in an instant and I wouldn't have to keep waiting for a vocal hook to recoganise what fricking song you are actually trying to play.
I dont want to lie any more - if my idols suck then I will admit it. Its ok to be wrong. Its ok for you to love anything that in reality isn't what you have actually made it out to be in your head. We all do it, especially when it comes to such personal issues like the bands or artists we love, we grew up with, helped us through good and bad times and have generally made our lives better to live. Yes its that important to me and it should be too. Music is life affirming and positive - it never judges you and its always there when you need it. Embrace it. Use it. Feel it. Become it.
The lesson to be learned though is when you don't need it don't give up on it - just be honest and never be afraid to admit that it lets you down from time to time. After all the music you love is made by people like you and you are not perfect are you?
~gone~
